Your Friends Are Contagious
Every day I'm on this earth, I realize more and more how important the people around me are to my current and future success. The same is true for you. You can’t do it alone.
If you want to change your life, change the people with whom you spend your time.
If you’ve heard me speak, you’ve heard me mention the quote, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I usually mention it and move forward.
Today, let’s go deeper.
The people you spend your time around will rub off on you, their good qualities and bad.
If all your friends go out to eat, and they all order something healthy, you’re more likely to order something healthy.
If all your friends are heavy readers, or work out, or use certain words or lingo, you are more likely to do the same. I’ve found this to be true in my life, time and time again. Check out this funny video on Social Conformity.
I laugh (sometimes out loud) every time I take on a saying from a friend or they encourage me to take on one of their habits without realizing it. PEOPLE RUB OFF ON YOU without your knowing it. Pay attention to your friends’ habits. I had to capitalize "PEOPLE RUB OFF ON YOU" to get your attention.
What do you do if the people around you aren’t the most positive and you want a better group?
First thing is that you have to get used to being by yourself because you’re going to have to start pulling yourself away slowly. When you start pulling away, some of the time you may have spent with others may now be spent alone. Picking up the phone less, hanging out less, and texting back slowly can all be ways you can start pulling back.
You sometimes will have to give up the things you enjoy with the bad group to get you closer to your next group. Many of you might never get the group you want because you’re afraid to be by yourself. You’re going to have to get comfortable with that alone time.
Next thing is that you have to be somebody that people want to hang out with and talk to and have something to offer others. People don’t talk about likability a lot, but that’s why I’m here. If you’re not likable then it’s going to be hard to find that new, elevated group. I’ve met and been around a lot of smart, unlikable people, and they can reach success, but it’s easier when you have people on the ride with you. Success without people to share it with will suck. I’ve heard too many stories - don’t be that person.
You can start by studying Emotional Intelligence. It is one of the most important skills you can gain! Being Emotionally Intelligent is one of my secrets to where I am now. I truly care about others, and it shows in my body language and how I interact with others. If you care as well, but people can’t tell because you’re always frowning or talking over them or other things, it’ll stop you in your process to world domination.
Oxford defines EQ as the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. Please buy, read, and take the free assessment in Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and also add the classic “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. Two great books I highly recommend.
It’s important that you’re self-aware and that you know how you’re perceived by others. Also, consider what you can offer others. Remember people around you are trying to further their lives, careers, etc. If you can help them get further into what they want in any way, it will help you get what you want as well. Life is truly about those relationships where both sides win.
There’s so much more we can talk about here, and I will. Just not right now. Let me know if you have any questions. Remember 2020 is about mastery and not just consuming a bunch of content.
Highlighted responses to last week’s message:
I recently witnessed my ex-boss lose her job in part because her response to every tiny critique or opportunity to learn was, "I already know that.” Since then, I've been super focused on humility because I love learning, but I can't learn when my pride is constantly shouting, "I ALREADY KNOW THAT!!" lol
I read your updates every week. And I really like this one and will work to eliminate that phrase from my vocabulary. I recently decided to work for Spartan Obstacle Courses, and I know I’ll have to be fearless. Good luck to you on your fitness competition journey.
What’s happening this week: Speaking tomorrow in Wichita, KS, at a local high school and then flying to Nashville, TN, to inspire a group of photographers to tap into their fearlessness! I speak all over the USA and beyond at high schools, colleges, and organizations. Want to learn more? Visit my website.
I’m proud: I was in Vegas last weekend, and I did well with eating healthy as well as exercising every single day. Also proud of my consistency in communicating with you on a weekly basis. Every week I take my time to figure out what I want to share and how it needs to be said so you will get the most out of it.
Featured Fearless Story of The Week: Today is July 24th and it’s the three-year “anniversary” of my sexual harassment. I was sexually harassed in the sixth grade by my best friend. She made me forget who I was and pretended it never happened, but I couldn’t. She gets to act like it never happened, and three years later I am still struggling with depression and anxiety. I feel alone because I can’t tell my family. Because of YADAPP and the speakers who shared their stories, I am continuing to fight to want to live and am beginning to trust females and people in general. I am slowly but surely beginning to start the healing process. I am nervous, but FEARLESS. Want to read other stories or share yours?
A fearless decision this week: I removed over 3,336 people from this list who signed up in the past but never opened emails. I’m really excited to talk with people like you who continue to engage and are making daily progress towards your goals. I only want to talk to those who want to hear from me. Let’s do this!
Fearless quote of the week: “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Meet you at the top!